BIPOLAR HELL (A glimpse into uncontrolled symptoms)

(This poem is about how my bi-polar symptoms affected me before my doctors and I found the proper treatment for myself.)

Tearing my heart out my chest,

I look down into my hand,

Beating heart, throbbing in time with my rage,

Taking it out on myself,

Raging in my thoughts,

Destroying self, to be numb,

Alone, in time, no one will remember,

The old me,

Cuz the new me ain’t for anyone but me,

Alone, that’s me,

In a world fancy free,

Anger raging like burning fire in the pit of an ancient stone oven,

Broiled through and through, opinion and heart

Crushed slowly in time,

How to escape,

Such a suffering existence.

5 Comments Add yours

  1. Eric,

    Were your manic episodes primarily angry?

    Yours,
    David

    Liked by 1 person

    1. David, The first one, no, the second one yes, and from then on I’ve had many hypomanic swings. Usually followed by a 3 to 14 day depressed period. The emotions vary heading into the manic swings. Stress is a huge trigger.
      Eric

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s interesting – it makes sense. Oddly, most of the bipolar people I’ve known haven’t described their manic episodes as full of rage – just uncontrollable energy and very unrealistic thinking that has sometimes gotten them into trouble…

        I’m sorry you struggle with this. 😦

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That describes in a way what my manic symptoms are like today. The anger manifested itself because of where I was in life at the time. Everything was spiraling out of control. I can’t handle stress well. I used to be able to handle it fine, but once the chemicals became imbalanced I was unable to maintain my bearing.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. DiosRaw says:

    ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

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