Sad

Sad heart stirs on open flame Cooking down sad daily pain Flares of sparks rise up in hope Extinguished by sad tears

Morning Coffee: #5

I miss my Grandmother dearly. We were never close; but, never too far apart to know we loved each other very much. Her phone calls were short, always to the point. She had strong values and a stronger love for family. She anchored many ships in our family and now I see them adrift as…

Morning Coffee: #4

Sipping coffee, listening to ‘Deep Cuts: A Perfect Circle – EP’ ~ Orestes (Demo) ~. What a perfect start to the morning. The pain still sits deep in my chest about my Grandmother’s passing; but, the sun shines around the darkest clouds. Bits of memories, cardinal birds, snowmen, winter holidays, and many table side dinners….

Morning Coffee: #3 Madre

Sitting quietly by my desk this morning I turned on some easy listening music. Slowly settling into the groove I slid out the construction paper and chalk. Casualy daydreaming about childhood memories of my Madre. I love her and often think of her sweet voice and smile. My beautiful Madre. Your tower was long ago…

Morning Coffee: #2

Goodmorning sunshine, what a wonderful day to smell coffee brewing.  It’s cool outside, almost like having spring in Autumn.  The only shade is my grandmother’s passing.  My heart fills full of shards of glass, each a different emotion.  Some pass easy, while others whittle away the flesh digging deeper until they hit bone.  So, as…

Morning Coffee: #1 ‘Good Grief’

Today was an extremely hard day. Getting out of bed felt like dragging the moon across the sky. Gravity welded me the mattress while the sheets fed themselves around me as a Boa Constrictor would. Welled up inside my chest was a wall holding back the flood of tears. My grandmother passed yesterday and I…

COPING MECHANISMS, WHATS YOURS?

It amazes me how depression kills my creativity and productivity. I wanted to take a moment and thank anyone who views, likes, or follows what I create. You all encourage me through those dark times. I follow the advice of author Patrick Ruthfuss. He once said in a VLOG (paraphrased), ‘if you write something, write…

Delve Into Swinging Emotions: Exploring My Bipolar Symptoms

Today was a busy timeline of emotional swings. I felt anger, joy, sadness, free, hyper active, slow and dull, while being nervous and shaking from time to time. I’ve come to learn from this cycle that I may be on the upswing to become manic which with as bad as this emotional tornado has been…

Closet

Duo face intersecting my life, One way in closets, Another way outdoors, Can’t live in either lifestyle, Nothing makes sense, Behind closed doors I see myself in one light, Outdoors in another, Unable to bring them together, No sense in my upbringing, Religion screams in one year, and 1950’s training in another, Can’t move past…

Pushing Mountains

Post heartbreak, tired and broken, Finding everything taken, Empty, lost, abused, excused, Everyone around you unamused. Pushing mountains easier than moving on, Content dulled, ill amusement, Casting net, catching it on, Jagged rocks, jutting like my life under cement. Time moved past, Love lost, Time spent, Seems like such a waste.