Morning Coffee: #1 ‘Good Grief’

Today was an extremely hard day. Getting out of bed felt like dragging the moon across the sky. Gravity welded me the mattress while the sheets fed themselves around me as a Boa Constrictor would. Welled up inside my chest was a wall holding back the flood of tears. My grandmother passed yesterday and I…

COPING MECHANISMS, WHATS YOURS?

It amazes me how depression kills my creativity and productivity. I wanted to take a moment and thank anyone who views, likes, or follows what I create. You all encourage me through those dark times. I follow the advice of author Patrick Ruthfuss. He once said in a VLOG (paraphrased), ‘if you write something, write…

SITS UPON A CHEST

Depression sits on the chest, As sinking swamp sucks in the wreckless, Justice served on interloping thoughts, Saddening, deepening, trembling free reality, Paradox in between knotted rows, Knitted into being by Destiny, Twisting us down undefined paths, Twisting our future and darkening our past, Depression sits on the chest.

LOVE & LOW SELF ESTEEM

Open up my heart, Vulnerable, easily knocked down like dominos, Clip, clack, falling on the table, Open book, passive to your strategic movements, Enamored by your beauty, Opening up my heart, Eyes, examining me head to toe, Feeling vulnerable as your love washes over me, Defensive and sarcastic, Deflecting your compliments, Inside feeling special, but…

BIPOLAR HELL (A glimpse into uncontrolled symptoms)

(This poem is about how my bi-polar symptoms affected me before my doctors and I found the proper treatment for myself.) Tearing my heart out my chest, I look down into my hand, Beating heart, throbbing in time with my rage, Taking it out on myself, Raging in my thoughts, Destroying self, to be numb,…

A Good Day Blog

With how often I feel the pains of depression and anxiety I want to take this moment to acknowledge that today is a good day. I feel at peace, I have a bit of happiness, and I am enjoying the day. I don’t feel manic, I don’t feel like life is passing at a thousand…

ANXIETY 2

Worry is such a harsh master, It saddles anxiety and rides it hard, What little control worry offers, Yet I’m always quick to worry, Letting it wreck my soul And carve its way into my mind, Taking over and carrying me on a journey, Often with crashing into walls of blank anxiety.

ANXIETY

Last night I was hit with a huge anxiety episode. Stress of life in this pandemic world seems to hit like a wrecking ball from time to time. One string of hope that I hold onto is my faith. Its a light at the end of the tunnel, its also a light that currently exists…

PRACTICING CBT

Perception is a key used to unlock many thoughts. Especially, it unlocks how one perceives their own actions; future, past, present, and encourages a range of emotions. Those thoughts and emotions manifest themselves in numerous ways, rarely neutral, most of the time positive or negative. “I’m such a dork,” after bungling to flirt; or, “I…

MY EXPERIENCE ON SOCIAL MEDIA HAS BEEN ROTTEN

It has been two weeks since I logged into any social media account of mine and the freedom I feel is almost overwhelming me. I didn’t realize how entrapped I was in the social agendas. The negativity filter is slowly lifting from my mind. Somehow I got entangled in the drama, what did this social…