Life and Its Doorways

Standing still in doorways, I fear to enter, So many I have entered before, Self hatred tearing at my back, Unknown urging agnst, Butterflies surge forth, Escaping and fluttering about, Standing in wonder at the doorway, Looking in, wondering, What’s in store for me, My choice to move paralyzes me, Standing still I cannot move,…

Homebound Battlefear

Hearts won minds turned chemical burned, Hero’s march home, war and dreams, Constant reward, images burned, wounds inflicted, Mind confounded and infected by nightmares, Can’t sleep, media a constant reminder, War a reality nuclear vision blur, Fear gripping heart, reality tilting heart, Hearts and minds, minds and hearts, Winning hearts and minds, lost, lost, Hope…

Emotional Baggage

Off to the side I sit Idly by watching time Pass by my side as I Attempt to persuade Guardian Angels to untie My bounds that hold me Prisoner to this idle body Lazy, full of pride My eyes glazed over with envy For the riches of others As I sun away in jealousy Of…

Judging Rage

Look into my world, Hear my words, Swirl with me on the hurricane winds, Tear out my eyes, Eyes, unclean in the turbulance, Destruction looms over volatile hills, Crumbling mountain tops tilt, Georges swallowing me, Into the abyss I swirl, In the turbulent hell, Its swallows me. Violence and shame, Beating me into the ground,…

F*****g Bi-Polar Rage

I have Bi-polar Disorder and there are times like tonight where I suffer from severe rage. It triggers from little things, the most unimportant, trivial, nuances of life. I work so hard to control it. Tonight, I feel about to lose that control. So here I am writing about it, hoping to gain control back and to be the strong man I am.

On the Other Side of the Morrow

Live for tomorrow, Burying your head in the future, Call son, come as you are, Into the land to be, Remove your helmet, Here have a beer, Sit with me, Set your feet up, There you go son, Let go, Live for tomorrow, Feel the breeze that hits you, That is future’s fan fare, The…

Despair

Despair, despair, despair, Despair for the world, As war wages and the multitudes shout, Moving the tidal buldge, Under their mighty armaments, Despair, despair a world controlled by Tyrants, Fools, and the like, Despair, for the hunger, The famine that eats the mighty, Casting the weak like chaff, As Tyrants eat a plenty, Despair, for…

Decisions

Emotions attacked me, Two handed, single coin, Flip to dare, Each life a different stage, Each a hazardous lane, Choices chase me, Day dreaming, day and night, Sleep avoiding me, In my mental fight.

Bi-Polar Out of Control

***Trigger Warning*** (Bi-Polar Psychosis, Mania, Depression, Suicide, Hospital Stay, Divorce, LGBTQ+) I remember the first ER visit. How scared everyone was and how much of a euphoric high my emotions had me on. I saw a quote from Ozzy Osborn recently that explained it, (paraphrased) “I was so out of control and I thought I…

First Time I Noticed My Mental Health

This will be short. I often try to identify when things started to go askew in my mind. I remember at the age of 10 having a strong realization of how alone I was. It was an extremally powerful emotion that I had to work through in the moment. The feeling was validated for years…