Up until Monday I felt really blue. My depression raged and put me into a deep slump. I felt pain for past events, fear for current events, and anger at different situations. I can pin point each thought that brought my mood down. Even though I am aware that past events can’t be changed and they shouldn’t be the focus of my attention. I still remember them and feel the affects my choices through depression and anger.
I’m lucky to have great friends who care about me. They wouldn’t let me slip out of the room when I wanted to go hide from the world. They kept me encouraged when all I could do was doubt myself. My friends smiled when I couldn’t helping me keep in mind that there is hope. One of my friends privately took me aside to cheer me up and tell me it is going to be okay and to keep my chin up, that they all care for me.
My lover took the brunt of my mood and thankfully she is an understanding woman. Our relationship is very strong, we love each other dearly, and we communicate well. So even though my mood made me snippy, blunt, and distant we still communicated through our issues and overcame them.
The mood made me feel sluggish, out of place, tired, angry, hurt, distant, unwanted, and gave me a very heavy feeling inside my head – like something was pressing on my brain. It was one of the stronger periods of depression I have had in a while.
I am glad for the friends who helped me by sticking by my side and not letting me give up when I wanted too. It encouraged me to find strength to fight through the affects of depression. There may also be a link to chemical imbalance which may have been a factor in the severity of my depression. For better or worse I am out of the slump now and am on the road until the next hump in the road. The odd part is I woke up out of the slump, I went to bed Sunday night still depressed and Monday I woke up bright as sunshine. It almost felt like it hadn’t happened at all.
So until next time. 🙂