Judging Rage

Look into my world, Hear my words, Swirl with me on the hurricane winds, Tear out my eyes, Eyes, unclean in the turbulance, Destruction looms over volatile hills, Crumbling mountain tops tilt, Georges swallowing me, Into the abyss I swirl, In the turbulent hell, Its swallows me. Violence and shame, Beating me into the ground,…

F*****g Bi-Polar Rage

I have Bi-polar Disorder and there are times like tonight where I suffer from severe rage. It triggers from little things, the most unimportant, trivial, nuances of life. I work so hard to control it. Tonight, I feel about to lose that control. So here I am writing about it, hoping to gain control back and to be the strong man I am.

On the Other Side of the Morrow

Live for tomorrow, Burying your head in the future, Call son, come as you are, Into the land to be, Remove your helmet, Here have a beer, Sit with me, Set your feet up, There you go son, Let go, Live for tomorrow, Feel the breeze that hits you, That is future’s fan fare, The…

Bi-Polar Out of Control

***Trigger Warning*** (Bi-Polar Psychosis, Mania, Depression, Suicide, Hospital Stay, Divorce, LGBTQ+) I remember the first ER visit. How scared everyone was and how much of a euphoric high my emotions had me on. I saw a quote from Ozzy Osborn recently that explained it, (paraphrased) “I was so out of control and I thought I…

First Time I Noticed My Mental Health

This will be short. I often try to identify when things started to go askew in my mind. I remember at the age of 10 having a strong realization of how alone I was. It was an extremally powerful emotion that I had to work through in the moment. The feeling was validated for years…

Cycle After Cycle, Still Drowning

Broke man, poor pockets, still giving till the end, Jacket there, last twenty here, Living life to the fullest, Blasting music, riding wild down country roads, Drinking till five in the morn, Mourning deep loss, unspoken pain, Drown’n in a bottle, Floating around, alcoholic circles, Regular at the bar, Passing out as many cigs as…

No Pizza Pie

Twisted, contorted, little thought, Traveling on transistor radio, Airwaves humming, people singing, Media, mover of culture, Controlling life and styles, Singing to crying eyes, Giving little thought to teach and chalk, Making room for Cheech to talk, Chong to break out the water pipe, Draining, leeching the public, While Momma’s cry, Wasted, humiliated, left for…

Redemption

Often I write from a place of depression, Exhaustion weighing down my soul, At times unaware of my existence, The Universe’s gravity pushing me onward. Saddened by loss, Grief overwhelms me at times, Regret fills my cup, And water turns to vinegar in my throat. Mentally ill and losing my toolbox, My hammer often hits…

UNDERSTANDING BI-POLAR SYMPTOMS

I have heard a lot of people say that, “I am bi-polar,” or “… depressed,” etc… Instead of defining the disease, they own it as a part of themselves. A better approach would be to say, “I have bi-polar,” etc… The ability to separate the two helps with self-esteem and first impressions. Negativity surrounds mental…

A Good Day Blog

With how often I feel the pains of depression and anxiety I want to take this moment to acknowledge that today is a good day. I feel at peace, I have a bit of happiness, and I am enjoying the day. I don’t feel manic, I don’t feel like life is passing at a thousand…