SLEEPLESS

Light fades from the world People fade into dreamland Staring at the ceiling in frustrated pastures, Counting endless sheep in sleepless fields.

BASIC MENTAL HEALTH TOOL

An important tool for communicating is, “I statements.” I feel _______ when (this happens / you say / you do ) I want _____ when ( “” “” “”) I need _____ when (“” “” “”) I statements allow for people who are open to listening, hear how you feel about a situation or need…

BIPOLAR HELL (A glimpse into uncontrolled symptoms)

(This poem is about how my bi-polar symptoms affected me before my doctors and I found the proper treatment for myself.) Tearing my heart out my chest, I look down into my hand, Beating heart, throbbing in time with my rage, Taking it out on myself, Raging in my thoughts, Destroying self, to be numb,…

Scarred Wounds

Sitting alone in a sunlit room I gather my thoughts into a loom Weaving possibilities, hopes, dream, & ambitions Doing my best to avoid the feeling of impending doom & gloom That so often overtakes me about noon I do by my best to avoid it because it will be here soon To tease me…

Acceptance

Learning what I value in life and studying how I’ve strayed from my own values has helped me understand where some of my depression comes from.  I am accepting that I’m flawed and unable to manipulate my past to my own advantage.  Coming to terms with who I am, learning the true meaning of being…

Recovery

Recovery is a long process of traversing valleys and mountains.  When I start climbing my mountains I have a choice to use the tools that I’ve earned through therapy and life lessons, or to climb it using my own devices.  Devices being depression, self-doubt, pity, low self-esteem, anger, and self-abuse through talking down about myself. …

Recovery Story

Yesterday I was faced with an interesting perspective of my life.  Ten years ago last month I was diagnosed with four conditions, their implications life altering.  Psychotic Disorder NOS, Borderline Schtizotypal, Majorly Depressed, & Personality Disorder NOS.  I was handed a couple bottles of pills, not even told good luck, and sent on my way…

Pulling Myself Out Of A Slump

Up until Monday I felt really blue.  My depression raged and put me into a deep slump.  I felt pain for past events, fear for current events, and anger at different situations.  I can pin point each thought that brought my mood down.  Even though I am aware that past events can’t be changed and…

Where I Was, Where I Am

Depression has been a thorn in my side since I was a preteen.  I remember starting to feel depressions effects as early as ten years old.  I don’t know if anyone noticed, or if anyone knew how to help.  I dealt with depression silently because the one time I tried to get help I was…

Depression & Satisfaction

Depression is a sneaky monster that wears many masks.  It likes to hide under the bed and grab a-hold of my leg when I wake up.  Depression continues to drag itself around the house as I try to shake it off.  Eventually I wear out and I sit down.  Sitting down is what it wants…