A short introspective post: I kind of ramble, these are random thoughts I needed to excise.

These last few months have been hard, well the entire year. Multiple deaths happened in my family and in my friend’s family. Severe health issues for people I love have been compounding. Post traumatic flashbacks have been occurring more often for me. I’ve been on a manic spiral for longer than usual.

Control has been difficult. I’m glad I have 20 years of therapy experience, a little pastoral care training I gleaned off watching hospital chaplains train while I clicked through their slides. A couple years of peer-to-peer specialist experience, and most importantly my supportive partner. She gets me through a lot of this.

Loneliness churns the soul. It cripples the will to try and communicate. This blog has become a thought farm, some end up in the manure pit, while others make it to my table, sometimes widely shared, other times they a tv dinner. Some are edited, while others are rough. The poems and reflections are meant to be raw and unfiltered. Plus, I don’t have the education in grammar I would like, and words are always changing. It is a beautiful thing, annoying at times, very beautiful indeed.

I’m really going nowhere with this; I needed a place to land my thoughts tonight. I don’t feel the best.