First Time I Noticed My Mental Health

This will be short. I often try to identify when things started to go askew in my mind. I remember at the age of 10 having a strong realization of how alone I was. It was an extremally powerful emotion that I had to work through in the moment. The feeling was validated for years…

True Friends

Bumping base, fishing up bass, Drinking beer, chilling with friends, Skinny dipping late at night, All my drinking buddies, Passing out late at night, Nursing hangovers early morning, All alone in my thoughts again, Till next weekend we meet, Drinking buddies, bodies deep, True friends far between.

Rainbow Puddles

Fyre burning inside, Sprite flittering around, Filling stomach with butterflies, Vomiting rainbows while trippin’ on shrums, Talking to vines, While flowers whisper to me, Taking garden paths till I’m lost in the trees, Fairies surrounding me, Garden Gnomes herding me, Nymphs’ looking on in ecstasy, Trippin’ on garden stones, Everything’s fooling me with their swirling…

Dream Like State

Slow down, hold onto me, Everything’s a downer, taking downers, Slipping down dreams, Like playing chutes and ladders, Climbing to high places, Sitting high watching the colors float, Boats drifting down, As we row, row, row, Row your boat, Down channels, Changing channels, hearing beat after beat, Attack the ear lobes, Ear drums making beats,…

Cycle After Cycle, Still Drowning

Broke man, poor pockets, still giving till the end, Jacket there, last twenty here, Living life to the fullest, Blasting music, riding wild down country roads, Drinking till five in the morn, Mourning deep loss, unspoken pain, Drown’n in a bottle, Floating around, alcoholic circles, Regular at the bar, Passing out as many cigs as…

No Pizza Pie

Twisted, contorted, little thought, Traveling on transistor radio, Airwaves humming, people singing, Media, mover of culture, Controlling life and styles, Singing to crying eyes, Giving little thought to teach and chalk, Making room for Cheech to talk, Chong to break out the water pipe, Draining, leeching the public, While Momma’s cry, Wasted, humiliated, left for…

What’s Good For Ya One Moment…

Sitting tight, sitting right, Looking left, looking up, Starlight drifts, headlights beam, Taking over the sky drifting scene, Lightsabers, blasters, fast cars, Street lights buzzing, Lazy hood, drifting through smoke dreams, Lazy dreams, tons of cash, Tons of grass, tons of buzz, Grow up, fast times, Grow up, new scenes, Can’t lie about where I…

Seconds

Sitting on the couch, Watching the scale slide high, Bigger than a pine cone, Taller than a pine tree, Heavier than pine cream tea, Mixed in heavy canned cream, Steamy, wafting high in empty air, Dreams, hitting in the solarplex, Indiscriminate, judging me till I blow up, Caught up in jail house thoughts, Tree’s falling…

Drowned

I’d quit, but I’m afraid I’m done down, That hill, a bottle short and dry throat, Hit after hit, lost in a dry bin, Short a dollar, or a dollar short, A bit of hay, a match in the stack, Burning down my life, drowning down town, Bars entrapped me, pots and pans consumed me,…

Recovery

Recovery is a long process of traversing valleys and mountains.  When I start climbing my mountains I have a choice to use the tools that I’ve earned through therapy and life lessons, or to climb it using my own devices.  Devices being depression, self-doubt, pity, low self-esteem, anger, and self-abuse through talking down about myself. …